Growing Versions

It cannot be seen by the naked eye.  So, we have to trust the experts--the people who have devoted their careers to seeing these things for us.  This weather that approaches, the coming storm, the looming march of an invisible force bears down on us, they forecast for us. There is something very scary about trusting that much.  We do it sometimes--when we fall in love, or meet our children.  Letting go of so much of what we know of ourselves takes a lot of..something. As our lives change in ways we never quite imagined, even after watching all those movies about pandemics, we lean into our shelters.  Shelters that are not always safe for some of us and wait for the storm to pass.

I had a breakthrough. The breakthrough had me. I broke. I let myself shatter. I tried everything to protect myself from breakage. I created lots of padding around myself. I distanced myself from sharp objects. But all the while, the thawing continued. The breaking point came closer. The hairline fracture ruptured and two, three, four pieces fell away. After the break, the heat of the sun. The sun I could not feel before. The warmth of my friends, my family reaching across the shards to gather me in their arms.