Growing Versions

 Parents of children who are older than 10 years old like me may think that cradling is no longer part of the job description.... ...but it very much is.  As our kids learn to walk away from us and grow past us, we cradle them with carefully chosen words, holding our bodies just so so that we can absorb the scariness of a dream or by sweeping away yesterday's mess so today's can be born. The other day, my mom asked me lovingly.  "When was the last time you went for a swim? You should go."  Her cradling work continues.

Boxes are a hot commodity in our household.  Squabbles will be fought and lost (or won depending on the outcome) over really good ones. One day we saw a box for a large appliance down the street and we were so excited only to get down to the street to discover it had already been pinched. That was a sad day. Boxes contain not just 4, but  6 or more sides ( chances) to create a world, a room, a closet, a machine, a....anything.I save up boxes for days when we are home bound and they rarely disappoint. The best boxes have two elements.  Sturdy material and interesting features...  ...they do not have to stay intact to be good. It will take a long time for me to break the box collecting habit.

I've come to except (and accept) little pots of gooey gunk littering my home for a quite a while now. Corn starch, vinegar, baking soda, food colouring, pasta in water that is growing mold and oatmeal face masks run amok. These potions have been fermented, boiled, frozen, baked into pie shapes, smeared and set on fire. What can I about these secret potions? Their mystery persists.

Any time I am in danger of being demoralized by Pinterest for not creating more games and activities out of thin air for my kids, the kids take the lead and do it for themselves. This box above was a just another thing destined for the curb after Christmas, but it got rescued and transformed into a rocket lab. Two cups and a ball eliminated the need to ever hunt down a real live ping pong table. Youtube dancing games substituted just fine for pricey video games. Gingerbread house construction expanded the ceramic Christmas village by two whole blocks. An amusement park got built on the back of cartons and laundry baskets. This air may be thin, but there is a source of oxygen coming from somewhere.

As the weather changes, the craft supplies start to surface. We spend more time inside and start gifting each other with cardboard boxes. This morning I woke up to a new cat car in our living room. Last night we made angel wings for the cat.  They wouldn't stay on. These arts are like rafts, helping us stay close and dry as winter strands us together.

I have long admired the versatility of  pipe cleaners .  Their durability and flexibility make excellent construction tools for kids because they don't require any tools. Pipe cleaners played a pivotal role in Hallowe'en this year. Kazoo holster ( the kazoo , when played emits a high pitched sounds that lays waste to the bad guys) Head gear. An excellent way to hang stuff And they help you display the treats after you get them.

I don't think I have enough words or the right ones to describe my child's love of balloons. He views balloons the same way other kids view lego, full of possibilities and as tools of his imagination.  Balloons can be engines, they can be ornaments, they can be fasteners, they can be bombs, they can carry messages ( and they do)... There are no limits when it comes to balloons.  I really had no idea. My mind was so limited before. Why don't, you ask, do I not have more balloons in my life?  At a children's birthday party where a magician was making balloon animals, my son patiently waited his turn and then asked the magician to make him a sweater with the balloon.  

We had a big heart break this week. A huge set of boxes, which had housed new electronics and had been discarded by the neighbours, got chucked away or dragged away by someone before we could get our hands on them. This was troubling for the kids as they had already constructed some lofty projects with them in their minds (a car, an apartment, a village). One gave up entirely, until another day... The other settled for a much smaller box with interesting inserts. "Beach front property."2015

We just found out about this free and community based art space in our city. It is called  Wonderneath . We head over there on Friday and there were audible gasps from my daughter and her friends (and me).  After months of being boxed in by snow banks, we were set free.  The door was open, the light poured in and all the art supplies we could ever imagine ( and many we could not) were neatly kept in little drawers and containers and shared with us for those sweet hours.

With a cup of  lego you can make a speed boat,  a dock, a car, a car that can do tricks, water that you can swim across to the dock, a trailer, a camper, what else? You can also make a different kind of speed boat, a different dock, a car that can do different tricks, a different body of water that you can swim across to a different dock, another trailer and another camper.

 There is a time before can'ts get in the way. A wall is easy.  You just have to duct tape together shingles to make the wall or door you want. There is a time before you hold yourself back from any project, a time when a lack of traditional carpentry skill does not stop you from creating a hideout or a fireplace.  This time exists, I have proof.

Concealing a gift inside paper or a bag or a sock is a tradition of the holiday season. We've been busy concealing and covering up gifts over the past few days.  However, we've been practising all year long. Every time the kids go their grandmother's house they always play "wrapping presents". Without fail, on these visits, I get gifted with a wrapped picture or a paper fan or a highlighter. Christmas wrapping is like the marathon after all of the interval training.

I will my thoughts to turn charitable as I attempt to scrub away the words "Welcome Santa" that had been lovingly etched just below the fireplace mantel. I try not to focus too much on the stickers of aliens and animals that adorn the door and ceiling and walls around my son's bed. The sidewalk in front of our house is decorated with chalk drawings of creepy crawlies and space ships. The windows are smudged with "window" paint, the table is indelibly marked with paint. Their fingernails are encrusted with chalk dust and their skinned knees are encircled with pen drawn tattoos. What do I have to show for myself? A million key strokes typed in invisible ink. Go ahead children. Make your marks. Invisible ink is too hard to see.

You've probably seen this before, in it this clever little girl presents a logically and succinct argument against segmenting "girls" and "boys" toys.   I love it. I love her fury and her indignation and her ability to sum it up so passionately. I was reminded of her today when my daughter was losing her cool with a Lego  kit.   Tears of frustration started rolling down her cheeks almost as soon as she started. She struggled to decipher the instructions.  What began as an innocent, well meaning activity quickly turned sour.  The process began to stress her out and chip away at her self esteem.  I decided that she needed to step away from the Lego kit. The Lego kit (a tiny lobster) could wait, mayby indefinitely. As she calmed down, I started to hear what she was saying. Lego kits that force you to follow instructions are not fun for everyone.  I'm sure they're great for some kids, but they are really frustrating for others. I told her...

Everyone discusses my art and pretends to understand, as if it were necessary to understand, when it's simply necessary to love.-Claude Monet Several years ago, I learned a good technique for discussing art work with kids.  A grade one teacher suggested that instead of saying : What a nice dinosaur! or What a lovely flower! , one should wait a beat and ask, Do you want to tell me about your picture ?  This keeps the door wide open, allowing the child to tell you what they want you to see.  After all, what looks like a beautiful flower, may in fact be something else entirely.  It may not be a  thing  I am looking at, it might be a  verb or an idea or a feeling   that my kids want me to see or feel.  I don't know what makes me think that kids are so determined to capture things.  They also are brimming with emerging concepts, ideas and a love of beauty.

Last night, it was a beautiful sunshiney evening.  We felt celebratory, the air was nice and warm, an important report I had been working on all week was complete, and so, we head out for a supper out. During supper, I was introduced to a new number by my daughter.  She attests that there is a number between 8 and 9 that no else knows about.  It looks like this: and it is pronounced heref (a.k.a backlesek) : I thought I knew 8, I thought I knew 9, but I realized, in that brief session, that I had never really given any thought to what might be between them.

Enough deconstruction has gone on for one season and we are only 3 days in. All the once good ideas have been stripped for parts. I very nearly let a pot boil, dry but I didn't. I am ready to plant something, paint something or build something new. Lucky for me, now that birthday season is upon us, fresh construction plans are being drawn up.  This week it has been decided upon that we will construct a fun fair in cake form.  That is the plan. It is not necessarily my plan or a wise one. It is an ambitious plan and it is going to have to involve a flexible vision, bendable candy  and it is not probably going to be accomplished without some panic induced grouchiness, but it is a construction plan. We are going to build it from the gumdrops up.

1. A vigilant guard, clutching a pager, primed to call 911 the second a bad guy comes along. 2. The trap is set, ready to be sprung.   3. The classic books-that-will-cause-out-of-control-sliding is set up.(based on Home Alone logic model) 4. Enter bad guy...a cascade of trap lines spring into action.

Occasionally, I will come across Barbie wedged in the back of the couch, or tossed under the bed. Sometimes she shows up in an old half-unpacked beach bag or upside down next to the bathtub.  I find her half-dressed, naked or crisply turned out in a full ball gown. Every once in a while, I find her dressed in such a unique way that it takes my breath away. My daughter cannot sew yet, but I think the seeds are there.  

Here is a charming little video that I came across thanks to my friend Lisa's post on Facebook. It is a movie that honours an intricate tale told to the filmmaker by a 6 year old.  It's about Asa Bear and Toby Mouse and it's about the possibilities of making up something as you go.  And it is also about not being afraid to change things midstream to make sure the story is as good as you think it can be.  It's also so much about the listener of the story and what she gets out of it.  If we listen properly, you just never know what might happen next.  The filmmaker discovers a lot about herself from this story and its teller. The results are fanciful and outrageous and moving and true all at the same time.  Watching it made me wonder, what would happen if I listened intently and faithfully to all the details all the way through my daughter's stories?  How would everything be different if I didn't start planning the supper/the laundry/work in the ...