Growing Versions

I have cried twice already today and it is not yet noon. That is not the norm. I believe in the restorative cleansing power of crying, but I have not done much of it in the presence of others.  Never have. The first time it happened today, I cried briefly as I comforted my very grumpy weeping child. The second time, next to the eggs in the grocery store, my eyes filled with tears while an acquaintance told me about how hard life is for her right now.  As we were contorted by laughter a  few minutes later the relief was palpable, laughing and crying tied so close together as they are. There is still plenty of day light left today. Crying with others is part of our life that we probably don't do enough. It's a mechanism, a threshold for clearing a path.  

Yesterday, after a day and a little more away from home, my son and daughter returned.  Soon after, my son asked for a rice cake, something that was well within his reach, Since I was busy doing something else, I suggested he get it himself.  With that, he burst into tears.  With a little cuddling and probing, he shared a minor mix up that had made him "almost" cry before, but he had held it back because he wasn't with us.  I asked him if he had almost cried any other times in the past 24 hours.  He told me about two other times when he was faced with some minor injustice, i.e. his hot dog got cut up, not left whole, and his sister got a seat he wanted.  Then I turned to my daughter. She "almost" cried when March Break was over. I told them I "almost" cried the day before, during a presentation I was part of delivering on mental health. My thoughts turned back to learning about  Crying Debt  from my son.  For some, they feel the need to i...

As a child, I went out of my way to hide my tears.  I hated (still do to some extent) crying in front of other people, including my parents. My son does not feel this way about crying.  Crying for him, up until now, has been just another way of talking, an expression, a necessity, an activity that flows into and out of other activities. I have marvelled at his openness. The other day he fell on a patch of ice in the school yard and bumped his head. When I saw him at the end of the day, I asked about it. "I fell. It hurt." Were you upset? (i.e. did you cry?) "No, I wanted to, but someone said I shouldn't because then I would be a crybaby." Something inside me sunk a little. I have heard many men say that the last time they cried was when they were 7. The last time I cried was earlier this morning when I was watching Last Tango in Halifax (great show!) As reluctant as I was to cry in front of others as a child, now I participate in what I ...