The spark that lit the idea of starting this blog was ignited in March when I hosted a co-ed, multigenerational baby shower for my brother and his wife. In preparation, I took the opportunity to plunge into a spring purge for the first day of spring. My kids helped me decorate. The process of disgorging our groaning home of all the bits of paper, mismatched socks and orphan puzzle pieces was cathartic, making way for a celebration of an impending birth but also making me ready for new things. All the clutter has been holding me back. It was like pulling the plug on the cold, scummy bathwater and making way for a fresh start. The day of the shower the glittery paper and springy colours transformed our stale winter den into a fresh air filled promise. It has taken several months for that spark to create some embers, I surround myself with so many little pieces of beautiful things but I don't treasure them. I want to hold those little things and moments up to the light and see them in new ways. As I head into winter, I hold onto those memories to kindle a readiness to more fully embrace who and what I love.
Despite being an introvert, I do often process big life events (and many many small ones) out loud by verbally hashing out my thoughts with whoever will put up with me. But this morning when I woke up to the big red blotch on the U.S. map...all my /the words fell out. They fell out unsaid, unformed. Got to work and probably , in another time, would have annoyed my co-workers, dominating the conversation with my verbal extrusions, but not today. I just mutely stared across at them and nodded. My dad came for lunch. Normally, we relish a good political diatribe, especially when we feel sure of our perspective, but this time, all I could do was munch on fries and marvel at all the unarticulated thoughts that I was not even bothering to retrieve. The silence inside me was noticeable. Social media was awash with reactions and I just looked away. I couldn't bear to read one word about it. I was not receptive to any reactions, accusations, reflections, words...
Congratulations erin! This is such a beautiful blog. I love hearing the stories of your kids.
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