Update: the library opened. It is gorgeous as expected, but also hushing and so powerful it turned me inside out upon impact. Turns out all the words got used up reacting to it the first time I entered it. I walked through it the other day on my own and ended up feeling small and stranded a bit. I felt like I have when I have visited other countries. At first enchanted and then later, excited and now a bit daunted about all the parts of it I don't understand yet or know how to be in comfortably. Looking forward to my next quiet visit when I can get turned inside out by it once again. It unzipped a big seam in the sky and the ground into which I stepped and have yet to emerge.
We talk to ourselves everyday, all day (and night) for the whole of our lives. We started talking to ourselves before we knew we were a self, we forget what we said because we forget everything from before...when we were too young and busy developing our brain to remember those early years. There is still lingering residue of long forgotten conversations I have had with myself as a toddler sitting around in the crevices...sloughing off occasionally into words I tell myself still. We talk non-stop, and not just with dialogue. Our goosebumps communicate to us, our tingly feelings, our neurons, our peripheal vision. They are all submitting data into our self and expecting us to react, respond or all to often, expecting what they are sending us will be ignored. After all that talking, you'd think we'd know what we think about most things, but occasionally we are stumped. Unless we stop what we are doing and really concentrate sometimes that voice(s) ...
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