Skip to main content

the space between words

Sometimes life gets on top of me.  I am either so busy living my life or coping with something that consumes all my energy that it is almost like I become deaf.

I vaguely notice that something in my body is not working, my knee hurts, or my head pounds.  I tripped over a pile of things when I was sweeping a while back and jumped back up.  10 hours later, I started wondering, "why can't I grip anything with my left hand?"

It was not until a while later that I remembered, "oh yeah...I fell on it."

This deafness to my self causes me to block out pain and work too hard.

The voice of me inside gets so muffled I start doing things based on old information...ways I used to think, old beliefs and discarded notions.

Recently, I've had a chance to unwrap the cotton wool from around the crevices. The wool that was insulating me from me.
The padding that was allowing me to fall flat on my face and not notice until several hours later.

In the process of unwrapping the excess layers, I extracted a lot of words that had not been said because they were so strapped down by threads.

I released them. Not quickly mind you, they were pretty tangled. I released them one by one...with space between them.  They said, "hey          you,           we             have               been               trying to                         tell
             you                something.                                 Are
you
               listening
                                       now?"

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Writing it out.

Since 2020, I have written the following: -grandiose grocery lists (written on an empty stomach) that often end up getlting left behind at home -funding proposals -delicately worded emails -harried Whatsapp messages -a slew of facebook messages (that basically kept me alive) -a tinder profile or two... -utilitarian text messages -heart felt text messages -the very occasional love note (on paper) to a friend or a loved one The things I have not written since 2020: -a journal -a multi-page handwritten letter -a play -a sketch -a novel -more than 2-3 blog posts that I didn't even publish -a pros and cons list

Playing School

Proper Cry

Photo Source:  thesetingstaketime.com  via  Stephanie  on  Pinterest I love to laugh.  I love laughing so hard I lose  control.  I love that release.    For this reason and lots of others, I could not wait to see the blockbuster, Bridesmaids last summer.  Everyone told me, "you are going to pee yourself. It is so FUNNY." And yes, I almost did pee myself, but I also cried through almost the entire last half of the movie.  I did not laugh so hard I cried, I just plain sobbed. I felt really sad watching the story of two friends come to terms with how their friendship was changing.  I was really surprised by my reaction after all the hype about how hilarious the movie was, but I knew why.  The brilliance of this movie was how life can be so hilarious and painful at the same time.    Yesterday, I was on a social networking site and one of the people I follow mentioned that she cried "proper tears" upon reading a story about a woman's tragic childhoo