Just as the heat releases and the air gets still, the dark starts to settle in. I really resist it. It makes me feel unsettled and a bit cheated when I first notice it gets quite dark by 7, then 6, now 5. I wonder how I will ever find energy to live through the winter or even through the night. And then it dawns on me, light a candle. Find a way. Let your eyes adjust to the dark.
Despite being an introvert, I do often process big life events (and many many small ones) out loud by verbally hashing out my thoughts with whoever will put up with me. But this morning when I woke up to the big red blotch on the U.S. map...all my /the words fell out. They fell out unsaid, unformed. Got to work and probably , in another time, would have annoyed my co-workers, dominating the conversation with my verbal extrusions, but not today. I just mutely stared across at them and nodded. My dad came for lunch. Normally, we relish a good political diatribe, especially when we feel sure of our perspective, but this time, all I could do was munch on fries and marvel at all the unarticulated thoughts that I was not even bothering to retrieve. The silence inside me was noticeable. Social media was awash with reactions and I just looked away. I couldn't bear to read one word about it. I was not receptive to any reactions, accusations, reflections, words...
Comments
Post a Comment