Growing Versions

The lego figures had a staycation this weekend. As you can see, one of them was having the time of their life, and the other had a lot on his/her mind. I am uncertain what the problem was, but my guess it it was too much cotton candy or too far outside his/her comfort zone.

  In the early years of parenting, I was almost overcome by the potential of there now being  24 hours in a day , instead of the pre-parenting 12.  There always were 24 hours, but now, due to unpredictable sleep schedules, work demands and a need to be alone once in a while, almost all of these 24 hours were now known to me.It was like double the chance to do stuff and time and time again I sacrificed a whole night of sleep to watch back to back Netflix episodes, to complete a proposal for work or to catch up on housework.Now of course, I realize that instead of stealing time, time was stealing from me.  Four years after writing this post, I am scrambling to tidy my life back into 12 hours again.  The chances of a kid needing me overnight are considerably less.  Insomnia is plaguing me by times and preventing me from having quality time not just with myself , but also with my husband. I blame smart phones and my dependence on them. I blame self-employme...

Writing a vacation email is the first exsquisite tiny morsel of holiday time, even if the vacation is only one day.

"For whatever we lose (a you or a me), It's always our self we find in the sea." -e.e.cummings, 100 Selected Poems

Looking at things close up sometimes makes things unrecognizable. My tendency is to zoom in when I take pictures, and afterwards, I sometimes have trouble believing that what I am seeing is the same thing I took a picture of. I guess I do that in my life too. I tend to thrive in one on one relationships and focus how to make what is right in front of me work, but lately, I have begun to realize that I need to zoom out so I can properly see things. Zooming in with the lens is soothing, and I guess it makes things more manageable in life too, but an aerial view has its role. I don't know how to operate a drone but I can find some people who can. I can learn.

For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. So collapse. Crumble. This is not your destruction. This is your birth. -n.t.