The night to walk in shadows (and weather)

Tiny hairs are going up on tiny necks. They are embracing the night and the nocturnal animals and the role playing until tomorrow night(probably all this preparation will have a lingering effect for a while after that).

My son has grasped counting down thanks to Hallowe'en. He keeps us up to date on how close the big night is. Both kids are primed and ready to be finally ready for whatever it this night of walking in shadows (not to mention gusts of wind and rain) has to offer.

After all the hype and 2 (and counting) Hallowe'en parties and planning and revising of Hallowe'en costumes, it is almost finally here--along with a post-tropical storm. The good thing about this weather is that the long underwear and snowsuits are not required, although the rain boots, and potentially, a recycling bag with a head and arm holes cut out of it will be in order,but it will all hardly deter us. I look forward to finding out what my son will be for Hallowe'en. I do not expect to know what he will be until we head out tomorrow night. He has plenty of options. Last check he wondered how he could dress up to be a bag. So, like I said, we'll see.

Comments

I entered August without you.

I won't visit you this month. You won't call. I will raid your garden and you won't get any of the vegetables. I will make plans without telling you about them. We'll go to the store and not buy you one single thing. Whole books will be read and I will not tell you which ones. I will watch movies and not inform you. The nasturiums will ripen. Last month was different. I changed my schedule and took time off work to be with you. I dropped all kinds of plans for us to be together. You sent me messages, I received them. I picked up food that I thought you would like at the store and sent you pictures of every beautiful thing I saw. I sang with you. We watched the Great Canadian Baking Show. You chose the recipe for the garlic scape pesto and gave me instructions for making the gooseberry jam. I am in August without you. You are in July.

Keep telling yourself that.

We talk to ourselves everyday, all day (and night) for the whole of our lives. We started talking to ourselves before we knew we were a self, we forget what we said because we forget everything from before...when we were too young and busy developing our brain to remember those early years. There is still lingering residue of long forgotten conversations I have had with myself as a toddler sitting around in the crevices...sloughing off occasionally into words I tell myself still. We talk non-stop, and not just with dialogue. Our goosebumps communicate to us, our tingly feelings, our neurons, our peripheal vision. They are all submitting data into our self and expecting us to react, respond or all to often, expecting what they are sending us will be ignored. After all that talking, you'd think we'd know what we think about most things, but occasionally we are stumped. Unless we stop what we are doing and really concentrate sometimes that voice(s) ...

the words fell out

Despite being an introvert, I do often process big life events (and many many small ones) out loud by verbally hashing out my thoughts with whoever will put up with me. But this morning when I woke up to the big red blotch on the U.S. map...all my /the words fell out. They fell out unsaid, unformed. Got to work and probably , in another time, would have annoyed my co-workers, dominating the conversation with my verbal extrusions, but not today. I just mutely stared across at them and nodded. My dad came for lunch. Normally, we relish a good political diatribe, especially when we feel sure of our perspective, but this time, all I could do was munch on fries and marvel at all the unarticulated thoughts that I was not even bothering to retrieve. The silence inside me was noticeable. Social media was awash with reactions and I just looked away. I couldn't bear to read one word about it. I was not receptive to any reactions, accusations, reflections, words...

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