Growing Versions

Lately, my son has been responding to my sighs more strongly than the words coming out of my mouth. He'll ask me for a snack or attention or something from the book order (blasted toy order more like) and I'll sigh (breathe a little too audibly) before (or while) I answer and he'll in turn react with either:  "Never mind." or  "What's wrong?" He's like a teeny tiny  barometer  and has been for a while. He picks up on the most subtle tone drop of my voice and responds by changing tack, like a little sailor seeking a headwind. Part of me loves being known so well, the other part, of course, wishes I were not so scrutable. However, sigh language is a form of communication, like any other non-verbal language, which is gradually learned and is responsible for conveying way more than our words do.

We are born with a way of seeing the world. It is partly shaped by where we are born, to whom, who we are raised by and who educates us, but it is also the product of our unique circuitry--an alchemy of all the dust that has produced us. We can decide to see things other ways for the good of others or for our own reasons, but we have to remember how we see things too. Our way of seeing is a fingerprint, proof that we were at the scene of our lives.

I was in a nasty mood the other day.  Really brutally nasty.  I ended up always feeling this way I guess when fall begins which is a result  of thinking out of time. I keep thinking let's go to the beach soon, it is almost that time of the year....oh yeah... Let's shop for christmas presents, woah, hang on a minute. My body clock gets out of sinc and it makes me cranky. I have a hard time being right here in early fall. I lost my cool with my nearest and dearest and they rallied. My husband held my hand. My kids and I went swimming and we dove and ducked and made up games and we came out fresh. The pacing changes, the clock has not yet been set back. Let's tell time with light and fingers.