When I woke up this morning, there had already been a fair amount of activity. A whole holiday cook book (including Hanukkah recipes) had been hand printed, illustrated and bound, several presents had been wrapped and copious tiny gift cards had been created and distributed on said presents. I think this is just about my favourite time of Christmas. I get so delighted seeing all the little fragments of shiny paper and coloured pencils strewn around the tree. The lights are like tinder for a stream of gift ideas and decorations that just need a little paper and tape and creativity (and a stapler never goes amiss) to assemble. The elves are busy.
Despite being an introvert, I do often process big life events (and many many small ones) out loud by verbally hashing out my thoughts with whoever will put up with me. But this morning when I woke up to the big red blotch on the U.S. map...all my /the words fell out. They fell out unsaid, unformed. Got to work and probably , in another time, would have annoyed my co-workers, dominating the conversation with my verbal extrusions, but not today. I just mutely stared across at them and nodded. My dad came for lunch. Normally, we relish a good political diatribe, especially when we feel sure of our perspective, but this time, all I could do was munch on fries and marvel at all the unarticulated thoughts that I was not even bothering to retrieve. The silence inside me was noticeable. Social media was awash with reactions and I just looked away. I couldn't bear to read one word about it. I was not receptive to any reactions, accusations, reflections, words...
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