I get so boring when I am worried about something, probably because during those times I feel like I'm on a very long tedious train trip, spiked occasionally by flashes of fear. I feel like I am travelling around and around in circles, trying to circle my way out of what might, if someone else were looking at it, be a straight forward problem. I would not know because I'm staring straight ahead, without looking out the windows much. During these times of stress, I long to board at the station and pull up to the next one and just get out and go about my business. But no, when I get going, I am like a fish in a bowl. Every time I see the castle, a glimmer of a solution makes me catch my breath and then turn my head away to look for a new one. This cannot be the one, there must be something more magnificent, more perfect, more accessible.
I love to travel but times like these I wish I could challenge myself to see where the train is taking me and consciously choose to go there, or to step out into the dark and let myself be surprised, but sometimes it is easier to stay on the train for a while longer. There is good stress and bad stress. How do you convert bad stress into good? How do you switch cars mid-trip? How do you make the trip into one with a destination and an Expected Time of Arrival?
This train could take me somewhere really cool, if I let it.
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