I've been accused of being worst things, but somehow, being labelled a bleeding heart really irks me (almost) the most. There is another word that is worse, and I'll get up the courage to tell you why another day. "You are a bleeding heart" means you care disproportionally, you have no (or faulty) critical thinking skills, you are gullible. I care fiercely about what I care about...but scared of the label I tend to care in a cold hearted way (if there is such a thing), reassuring others all the way that I'm no fool---that I care with safely constructed boundaries. I care all too aware that a staunched bleeding heart is seen as more noble. A healed up, scabbed over heart is seen as somehow more caring, but is that true? What do you think?
We talk to ourselves everyday, all day (and night) for the whole of our lives. We started talking to ourselves before we knew we were a self, we forget what we said because we forget everything from before...when we were too young and busy developing our brain to remember those early years. There is still lingering residue of long forgotten conversations I have had with myself as a toddler sitting around in the crevices...sloughing off occasionally into words I tell myself still. We talk non-stop, and not just with dialogue. Our goosebumps communicate to us, our tingly feelings, our neurons, our peripheal vision. They are all submitting data into our self and expecting us to react, respond or all to often, expecting what they are sending us will be ignored. After all that talking, you'd think we'd know what we think about most things, but occasionally we are stumped. Unless we stop what we are doing and really concentrate sometimes that voice(s) ...
I love the notion of a healed up, scabbed over heart, maybe tougher than the average bear but also stronger and more capable of the longer stronger deeper loves? aye?
ReplyDeletebleeding heart seems to connotate (to me) someone who is swept away by the emotions, but not able to 'do' anything with them, like the weeping for orphans in africa while walking By the orphans next door type.... not sure thats true, but it is a connotation i have... hmmm. . .