I've been accused of being worst things, but somehow, being labelled a bleeding heart really irks me (almost) the most. There is another word that is worse, and I'll get up the courage to tell you why another day. "You are a bleeding heart" means you care disproportionally, you have no (or faulty) critical thinking skills, you are gullible. I care fiercely about what I care about...but scared of the label I tend to care in a cold hearted way (if there is such a thing), reassuring others all the way that I'm no fool---that I care with safely constructed boundaries. I care all too aware that a staunched bleeding heart is seen as more noble. A healed up, scabbed over heart is seen as somehow more caring, but is that true? What do you think?
Since 2020, I have written the following: -grandiose grocery lists (written on an empty stomach) that often end up getlting left behind at home -funding proposals -delicately worded emails -harried Whatsapp messages -a slew of facebook messages (that basically kept me alive) -a tinder profile or two... -utilitarian text messages -heart felt text messages -the very occasional love note (on paper) to a friend or a loved one The things I have not written since 2020: -a journal -a multi-page handwritten letter -a play -a sketch -a novel -more than 2-3 blog posts that I didn't even publish -a pros and cons list
I love the notion of a healed up, scabbed over heart, maybe tougher than the average bear but also stronger and more capable of the longer stronger deeper loves? aye?
ReplyDeletebleeding heart seems to connotate (to me) someone who is swept away by the emotions, but not able to 'do' anything with them, like the weeping for orphans in africa while walking By the orphans next door type.... not sure thats true, but it is a connotation i have... hmmm. . .