One time in university I got a nasty stomach virus and, after days of weakness and eating jello, I finally ventured outside to walk to school. I was so weak that half way there I had to stop and lean against a tree to rest. That tree was so solid and so there. That was the first time in my life that I realized how important it is to have something (and of course, more importantly) someone to lean on. I also realized how important it is to lean. Sometimes I forget, but the tree makes me remember.
Despite being an introvert, I do often process big life events (and many many small ones) out loud by verbally hashing out my thoughts with whoever will put up with me. But this morning when I woke up to the big red blotch on the U.S. map...all my /the words fell out. They fell out unsaid, unformed. Got to work and probably , in another time, would have annoyed my co-workers, dominating the conversation with my verbal extrusions, but not today. I just mutely stared across at them and nodded. My dad came for lunch. Normally, we relish a good political diatribe, especially when we feel sure of our perspective, but this time, all I could do was munch on fries and marvel at all the unarticulated thoughts that I was not even bothering to retrieve. The silence inside me was noticeable. Social media was awash with reactions and I just looked away. I couldn't bear to read one word about it. I was not receptive to any reactions, accusations, reflections, words...
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