Despite being an introvert, I do often process big life events (and many many small ones) out loud by verbally hashing out my thoughts with whoever will put up with me. But this morning when I woke up to the big red blotch on the U.S. map...all my /the words fell out. They fell out unsaid, unformed. Got to work and probably , in another time, would have annoyed my co-workers, dominating the conversation with my verbal extrusions, but not today. I just mutely stared across at them and nodded. My dad came for lunch. Normally, we relish a good political diatribe, especially when we feel sure of our perspective, but this time, all I could do was munch on fries and marvel at all the unarticulated thoughts that I was not even bothering to retrieve. The silence inside me was noticeable. Social media was awash with reactions and I just looked away. I couldn't bear to read one word about it. I was not receptive to any reactions, accusations, reflections, words...
I totally remember the allure of the 'real' thing. We had a stamp set, and there were a few stamps that may have been leftovers from an office or something. I loved stamping 'urgent' onto something. Not hand written, but the real URGENT. Also, stickers from the post office with air mail/par avion... I definitely relate to this desire to have a hand in the real and the imaginary at the same time.
ReplyDeleteYes! Even just reading the word "urgent" in print gives me a little thrill (a cocktail of authenticity and possibility).
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