I recently had to travel to Toronto for a conference. I eagerly anticipated two nights away (alone!) in a hotel with a swimming pool. My daughter,who relishes hotel stays and plane trips, presented me with my going away gift: a spoon and a bracelet so I could play ring toss on my trip. She also presented me with the silver box that you can see above with a collection of little treasures she felt I would need for a good trip. The pool more than surpassed my expectations. It was half indoors and half outdoors, in late October, in downtown Toronto. As I arrived in the morning on the pool deck, the steam was hitting the cold, early morning air and as I swam on my back down the length of the pool I gazed up at skyscrapers. The swim cleared my head and woke me up for sure, but I credit the ring toss game for making me extra mentally prepared for the presentation.
Despite being an introvert, I do often process big life events (and many many small ones) out loud by verbally hashing out my thoughts with whoever will put up with me. But this morning when I woke up to the big red blotch on the U.S. map...all my /the words fell out. They fell out unsaid, unformed. Got to work and probably , in another time, would have annoyed my co-workers, dominating the conversation with my verbal extrusions, but not today. I just mutely stared across at them and nodded. My dad came for lunch. Normally, we relish a good political diatribe, especially when we feel sure of our perspective, but this time, all I could do was munch on fries and marvel at all the unarticulated thoughts that I was not even bothering to retrieve. The silence inside me was noticeable. Social media was awash with reactions and I just looked away. I couldn't bear to read one word about it. I was not receptive to any reactions, accusations, reflections, words...
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