It was a creative decision.
Deciding to write things down,and choose pictures that I've (mostly) taken to go with the writing and share what I am doing as I go were the first creative decisions I've made in a long time. I guess I was making them in imperceptible ways but they went without saying, they happened without conscious decision or thought.
The decision to start noticing things and write about them, to look side to side, down and up and in for beauty, has been an important decision for me. Permitting myself to make creative decisions makes all the other decisions I make everyday bearable. By deciding that I too am capable of being involved in a creative process, I am letting myself to be assailed by beauty. This decision and the subsequent ones I make each time I publish a post, persistently change me.
I let myself see beauty and now I cannot unsee her. I let her enter and now she won't leave. I am, now that I know she's in the house, seeing her everywhere, sometimes just for a moment, but she can be found in the unlikeliest places.
She hollows out new channels. She demands new things of me.
The first conscious creative decision took so long to make. I am so excited to find out where the next ones will take me.