The library should have it

I thought I would go crazy if I heard it said one more time.
"Do you have a copy I could borrow?"
"No, but the library should have one."

"Have you seen that movie, I'd like to see it."
"No, but the library should have it."

Those words became the bane of my existence.

Every time I heard it or thought it, I would get rigid.  I was both riddled with guilt about the fines I had already incurred that prevented me from going there anytime soon and glazed over with inertia. The concept of me "nipping" down to the library, given the tight schedule we ran, was inconceivable.  So improbable,in fact, that I literally had to laugh out loud anytime it was casually suggested.

I knew all the great reasons we all need a library.  Libraries have often been there for me in my hour of need.  For me they are like a holy place, with the added bonus of being impartial  with a mandate to serve everyone. It is a public institution designed to promote literacy, inspire curiosity and support all of citizens' educations throughout their lives. Except for me, right now.

Then, I finally went ahead and paid my fines.  And I followed the lead of Wife Mother Expletive, who thought of creating a reason to go by picking out promising reads and placing holds on them.  It was a simple but inspiring act. I made a dream list and then added to it and added to it again and before I knew it, the email notifications started piling up.

The difference this time is that I actually went. And picked up the books and a few more.

I had a bounty to choose from and looking at that stack made me happy. And except for the fines (happily now already paid down), they were free.  Something in my life that is free for the taking and using and reading.  Now, miraculously some time opened up for me on Saturdays. It was there all along, I just hadn't noticed before.  I indeed had time to walk downtown, pick up my carefully chosen books and return (on time, sometimes early!) the books that I was finished with.  Finally, I felt like this is a place for me again. A place to rest, to walk to, to invest in without spending a dime.


  1. WHOOOHOOO... (and, i too, made my list a bit extravagant and had to renew in order to make it through, and i even had one or two that i did not attempt, eyes bigger than the pie and that sort of thing) ... i love the library and its ideals. love.


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